Kim
shares healing testimony, multiple chemical sensitivity environmental illness from carbon monoxide poisoning, when she understood spiritual roots behind my disease.
Looking back over my
life, I now have a clear understanding of why
things went the way they did. The Lord has unraveled
the mystery. In my heart, I knew there was a
God, but because of fear, because of a broken heart, I rejected knowledge
of Christ.
I always wondered why my life was so full
of drama, crises after crises, high highs
and low lows.
17 years
of counseling and therapy, and
20 years
of seeking God through New Age avenues –
I was lost and sick.
God
was patiently waiting for me and kept me alive
while I floundered about.
I
was raised in a home mixed with a mother’s
love and a father’s verbal abuse. Causing
a broken
heart. My mother always told us that we were
extra special… more special than other people.
My father always told us that we were stupid,
lazy, and would never amount to anything. He believed
he would motivate us to succeed this way. I never
heard the words: “I Love You”. My
father was a functioning alcoholic. He worked
very hard to provide well for us, and he was very
loyal and dedicated to his family, but my memories
are that he was angry and anxious most of the
time. My mother was a food addict and shopaholic.
She loved her children and was unselfish in her
time and indulgence of her kids. I definitely
knew that I was loved, but somehow I didn’t
develop much self-love. I had a broken
heart.
I
spent my childhood and my adulthood trying to
live up to being ‘extra special’.
I was driven, a perfectionist, felt that I had
to dress a certain way, act a certain way, and
obtain that impressive job & career, all the
while feeling like I had everyone ‘fooled’,
because if they really knew how worthless I felt,
the real me would be exposed.
Both
of my parents came from Christian backgrounds,
but rarely attended church. We certainly never
prayed or talked about God in our home, but my
maternal Grandmother took me to church every Sunday
when I was a child and I was baptized at the age
of 10 years old. When I was 11 years old, my mother
tried to enroll me into the private Christian
school associated with my Grandmothers church
only to find out my application had been denied.
When my mother inquired as to why, she was told
that my answers to the questions during the interview
process were unacceptable. (That yes, I did dance
at parties and play cards! I was just a kid, thinking
of slumber parties, dancing to 45 records of The
Monkey’s and playing ‘Go Fish’
with my Grandma!). Experiencing this rejection,
at that young age, I decided that if this is what
Christianity was, I didn’t want any part
of it. I stopped going to church at that point,
much to my Grandmother’s dismay.
In
my mid twenties, battling an eating disorder,
broken relationships, and career stress, I was
introduced to the New Age by a cousin. She recommended
some books, and I was off and running! I joined
a New Age church in Dallas and it all just felt
so right. I read, studied, and practiced every
book, manual, and course of the New Age for 20+
years. I received short term relief, on an ongoing
basis… only to land back down in the pits,
over and over again.
Over
these 20 years, I experienced several marriages,
several divorces, and the birth of my daughter,
Madeline. There were financial highs and lows,
including bankruptcy, major health problems, and
surgeries, including stays in the hospital of
almost 3 months at a time, existing only on liquid
food through a tube in my stomach for close to
a year.
Just
when I thought it couldn’t get any worse
= it did, in a drastic way.
In
2004, only days after moving to a new house, I
became very ill from carbon monoxide poisoning
and developed symptoms from carbon monoxide. I
was in extreme, debilitating pain. After being
active and healthy most of my life, I was unable
to function at all. The medical community could
not find a cause for this sudden illness. Every
possible test revealed nothing. I suffered head
pain to the extent of considering suicide –
anything to make the torturous pain stop.
10
months into this agony, my daughter began having
similar pain and symptoms. It turns out we were
living with a severe natural gas leak and carbon
monoxide poisoning leak in our home all those
months. The damage was done. I was suffering from
carbon monoxide poisoning symptom which developed
into full-blown ‘Multiple
Chemical Sensitivities’ and ‘Environmental
Illness’ along with other issues such as
Mycoplasma Pneumonia, Leaky Gut Syndrome, Peripheral
Neuropathy and other diseases.
But
– Why wasn’t my husband sick? He lived
there too? I’ll go into that in a moment.
We moved out of the house immediately upon learning
about the gas leak and began a long, expensive
journey, seeking medical treatment through alternative
and occultic modalities of all kinds. I learned
that there was no medical cure for Environmental
Illness, and that our lives were over as we once
knew them. We would have to live in isolation
forever, and that my hopes and dreams for Madeline’s
future were shattered.
Due
to our extreme acute reactions to the environment
we moved into special housing for people with
MCS/EI.
It was a small 1 bedroom apartment with concrete
tile flooring and only metal furniture. No fabric,
upholstery, carpet, paint, plastic, or chemicals
of any kind. The severe breakdown in our immune
system caused us to be unable to tolerate
simple everyday things like gasoline, exhaust,
perfume, air fresheners, candles, potpourri, fabric
softeners, cleaning products, pesticides, herbicides,
and mold allergies. The list was endless. My daughter
was unable to attend school for almost 2 years.
We lost our home, our furniture, our personal
things, most of our friends, our dog. It was a
living hell on earth. When exposed to these things
in the environment we would experience acute pain
and I would experience neurological shut-down
with anaphylactic type reactions, falling on the
floor, needing shots and oxygen to enable me to
breathe. I was so sensitive at one point I had
only 3 items of clothing that I was least reactive
to and I could wear no makeup or jewelry. I became
sensitive to electricity, unable to be near a
computer, or cell phone. I was on the run most
of the time, trying to find a place to exist that
didn’t cause pain or malfunction in my body....
Jesus heals today and I now live a normal life
and Journey2Wholeness
Ministries helped me tremendously in my healing.
Watch
her story!
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